I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
