the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
love makes seman taste better
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
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