Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize