my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize