Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
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