I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
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