Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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