I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
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