I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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