You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I'm lost and stupid without you.
look no pants
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
