she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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