Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Randomize
