you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
