Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize