Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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