I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
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