If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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