No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
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Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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