Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
