sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
being pregnant is like rehab
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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