So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
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i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
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We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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