I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
