Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
