Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize