U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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