would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
