thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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