And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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