my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
