bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
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he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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