She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
