you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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