didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Randomize