Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
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