Can Purell be used as lube?
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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