My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
