If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
