I didn't shave. On purpose
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
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