...so i touched it.
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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