Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
only you would photoshop your dick
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
