TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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