how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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