At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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