she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
