she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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