I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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