i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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