ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
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