she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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