you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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