He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
