I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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