we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
