thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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