Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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