that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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