I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
