K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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