At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
