"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
