he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
