Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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