I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
