trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
